Saturday, 28 June 2014

How I Managed To Turn My Life Into An Epic Mash up Episode Of Castle And Pretty Little Liars...

    A had said I knew too much. Way to be creepy. But if you don't know anything about "A" and you're completely clueless as to what I'm talking about, you're probably new here, and you haven't read the first two parts in this three part story. thankfully, for you, I'm putting the links for part 1 and part 2 along with this. you're welcome. Go read them and then come back. Here you are. You should know what I did Last summer and Flirting with 'A'.
  Now that you've been enlightened with my sly ways, You know I don't scare very easily.  So I retaliate with my best weapon. Sarcasm.
Me: "Yeah. So much more than when this whole thing started."
    As more time passes and I don't get a response, I get braver. I decide to try calling A. However, A is too careful and doesn't answer. Ergo, I borrow my mom's cell phone, and try calling A again. This time I do get a response.
"Foolish girl, just because its another number doesn't mean I won't know it's you." - A
Me: "You just gave yourself away. You perfectly know me. Slip up, huh? From the 'Listen sir or ma'am' thing you had going? Now stop fooling around, Like I said I'm getting bored. So just tell me who you are already."
Me: "Oh come on, It's getting lame."
"So, You are a girl. Men are never this persistent. Why don't you leave me alone and get a life. Curiosity killed the cat." -A.  
Me:"I'm waiting, and I'm not exactly growing any younger. can you just tell me who the hell you are? So I can get back to my boring life." 
     Most people would say A just tricked me into revealing my gender, then again most people wouldn't be texting a psychopath to begin with. It was time I started investigating this. It was true, I wasn't getting any younger, Nor any answers. So I figure, the best way to proceed, is to start ruling out suspects, and cross checking alibis. I decide to start with my friends. My first suspect being: Mad. Now that I think about this, I should've taken a page out of the Alison Dilaurentis handbook of amateur sleuthing and invited all my friends over for a sleepover and then drugged them. If I got a text when they were out, I could've ruled them out. simple but efficient. But being the naive high school graduate that I was, I decided to do it the old fashioned way. I called up the suspects and their alibi's and crosschecked them.
Me: "Where were you the night of the murder  last night?"
Me: "Ohh, You were in art class at exactly 2AM that night? Okay. Can anyone verify your whereabouts? Swarna? I'll be sure to check that. You better hope your story checks out."
Swarna : " yeah! she was with me the entire time! we don't even take our cell phones to art class dude. Yeah, I was watching her like a hawk. Trust me. It's not her. I can vouch for her. " 
Swarna: "By the way, I really hope you figure this out. Let me know if I can do anything 
else to help your investigation. You're like Holmes and I'm like your trusty, slightly more social, cooler sidekick Watson. Ooh or Starsky and Hutch, Turner and Hooch?"

Me: "You do remind me a little of hooch. Thanks for your help. You're my prime witness. and partner! You rock. peace out."
Hmm..something about that alibi seemed flimsy. 
Oh well...
      To my disappointment, most of my interrogations went a lot like the above example.  Meanwhile, I also analysed all the texts multiple times, and came to the conclusion that the evidence was inconclusive. And the data was insufficient to go on. My investigation had hit a dead end. I'd drawn a blank, and I was right back where I started, with crazy theories, wild speculation and zero proof. But that's how they solve homicides on TV. So I wasn't disheartened or deterred. Also, I did discover that A used a prepaid Airtel number from chennai, My own city, after a little bit of internet research on cell phone tracking. So, It wasn't a complete bust. Eventually, A decided to grace me with another text.
"Is this all jokes and games for you? Do you not see the seriousness at all?"-A
This is not a game to me AT ALL Mona
And, I'm like...

  I decided it was time I showed off my savvy investigatory skills. So I texted A back telling him/her about how I'd spent the day. Nothing fancy, watched some TV, Called a bunch of people, scoured surfed the internet, googled cell phone tracking... Okay, I was gloating a little bit.
Me: "I know you're an airtel subscriber from chennai. I did a little research of my own."
"Well done. Good for you, Nancy drew."-A
EVERY. SINGLE.CASE. Best clearance rate ever.
   But eventually A did realize I was valuable. And by that evening I was affirmatively declared a partner. partner in crime or partner in crime solving? I wasn't so sure. It didn't even matter. I'd been texting this mysterious number back and forth for nearly 3 full days. and nights. It kept me awake at night and not because it scared me. Because it excited me, and my face lit up with joy and happiness whenever my phone dinged. Okay, clearly, There is something fundamentally wrong with me. And this entire situation because our odd little relationship had developed to the point where A had begun to ask me a lot of favors. 
"Since you won't stop texting me either way, how about you make yourself useful and help me out?"-A
Me: "Uhh, Sure…"
"Okay, Could you estimate a time of death for me?"-A
Me: "Oh, Thats pretty simple, Give me the liver temperature." 
   After a small glitch in conversions between celsius and fahrenheit resulted in the wrong time of death, A told me that the answer didn't seem right…"I was never very good at math", I admitted. Eventually, we'd identified the error and fixed it. I was calculating time of death for A, Now there was no turning back. Whatever illegal, possibly criminal activities A was involved in, I was already an accomplice. I was in way too deep to ask myself or A questions about the morality of our actions. It was like a vow binding us. For good or for evil. As partners in crime. Or crime solving. We were stuck with each other. So, I reasoned that it was only fair I got to know his/her name, at the very least.
"My name is Ryu"-A
"I googled Ryu. That's a video game character."
  Later that night, I had to solve an anagram for A. Tom Riddle anyone? This level of our dangerous text based cat mouse game involved a time limit too. I'd kept mad in the loop on the developments of the case, ever since I'd ruled her out as a suspect owing to her rock solid alibi. When I told her about the anagram and my lack of motivation to crack it. she'd listened with rapt attention and encouraged me to solve it. 
Mad: "Why not? You've already dug your grave by acting as A's personal forensic technician. why not dig yourself in a little deeper, nail your coffin and solve this anagram? Its not like you could actually make things any worse. Your life is like an episode of castle and honestly I'm a little jealous. I'll help you crack the anagram" 
Me: "I don't know mad, It's one thing to estimate time of death for A, another thing entirely to estimate time of death and crack an anagram."
But She managed to convince me, I was all Ryu had. So, We'd solved some cryptic clues and figured the anagram's answer was a place in the city. Then we figured it had to be a place that might invite a terror attack, because this was A we were dealing with and then we had narrowed it down to hotels in the city. Perhaps a minute before time ran out, We guessed the name and I texted A. A told me we had done our best and that we had better call it a day. I obliged.
  Obviously though, I couldn't sleep very well, and the insomnia lead me to get out of bed as early as 7AM . Out of sheer boredom, lack of sleep and impatience, I decided to try calling A one more time.
I dialed the number that I had now memorized and heard it ring. I didn't expect A to answer at all. Just as I was about to give up  and hang up, Someone did pick up.
A gruff male voice said "hello?"
  I didn't recognize the voice. It didn't sound like anyone I knew and its sounded a lot like it might as well have been Ryu's voice. I was always so confident that it would be someone I knew very well. A friend of mine. It had never occurred to me that I really could have been texting "A"
The same gruff male voice repeated. I was not imagining it. It was NOT a dream, This was actually happening.  This was actually happening to me. I was launched head first into panic mode. Full on. My Heart had stopped for a second when I'd heard his voice. For that one second. Now it was racing again. My Mind was struggling to keep up. What if I had to go to jail? Prison stripes really weren't my thing, neither were orange jumpsuits… I was freaking out..
 Then a woman's voice came on.
"Hello?", she repeated.
"H…He..Hell-o??", I managed to stutter.
"Hello, Madhu is asleep. This is her mom. Hold on, I'll wake her" the voice informed me. I was jolted back into the realm of reality. My head cleared. The male voice in the beginning had been her dad. My heart rate lulled, and slowed down to a normal pace.
"heyy.." said a drowsy sleep addled familiar voice. It was mad. All along. But by the time she came on the phone, I had managed to calm myself, at least relatively, Considering I'd just gone pretty close to suffering a Heart attack and dying at the young age of 16.
"I Knew it was you. I knew it was you all along.", I told her.

  "Sure, You did", she mocked. Then she silently cursed her parents for answering her phone. After that We'd discussed the details of how awesome this had been for both of us. Almost a real adventure.
 All those people that I'd called asking if they knew the number, had in fact known it was mad's new number, they had all been warned in advance, though.
  As for Swarna,
The allure of the dark side had gotten to her and She'd played me.
 But It had been like an early birthday present to me, those three days. My own mystery. solved. sort of…

     And that concludes the final part of my three parter Story. Cue drum roll!! Hope you enjoyed it, Also, You might've noticed the cool, cartoon versions of me and swarna in this post.  Credits for the cartoons go to my friend Nithya Ravindra. 
Did you like said cartoons? Did you like the story? Let me know. Leave a comment. Have you ever played a prank on your friends? Done something crazy? Whats the craziest mystery you have solved? sort of. What Tv show or movie does your life draw inspiration from? Let me know below! 

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Flirting with 'A'...

       There is no disclaimer for this one. This story is exactly as ridiculously awesome as it sounds. And a teeny bit crazy. Mostly just crazy. If you're the sane boring type. But if you are that type, you probably have no business being here in the first place, and you should just give up on this blog and get back to working on that essay you have due tomorrow. It's almost funny how I put so much effort into driving traffic away from my blog. But Everything that could possibly leave you brain damaged should come with statutory warnings. So I figure it's only fair. If you're new here and you don't understand how reading this could kill your brain cells, you should probably go back and read the beginning of all this madness, with what I did last summer...
Seriously though, A totally hit on me first.
        If you've already read that and my short prelude prophesying your impending doom, and you're still here, congratulations! You are officially my kind of people, and You are now free to blame me for that essay you haven't finished, because let's face it, you're not handing it in tomorrow. And I'm just a blogger trying to entertain, cause I love my fans, I'll take that blame. Yes. even though the blame is on you, I'll take that blame from you. 
   So Welcome to part deux, where you will endure the consequences of my terrible but wonderful judgement. excuse the french. I was feeling a little romantic. You remember that time I got a text from some mysterious person who was possibly an ax murderer, and I decided to just text back...instead of reporting the matter to the local law enforcement authorities... Yeah, This is what happened after that.
"who is this? Mad? is this you??"
A few minutes after I sent that text, My phone dinged again.
" My apologies. I sent it to the wrong number in a hurry. Ignore that text, I wasn't serious. There is no body. Have a good day." - A
   Okay, So the text wasn't signed A. But the rest was the same, word by word. I promise. But lets just call mystery  texter A, for convenience all through this story. So anyway, who did A think he/she was? I was just expected to give up and go back to having an uneventful good day? Nuh-uh. No way. So not happening. Instead, I opted to take a few guesses as to A's identity and in the process provide A the names and curriculum vitaes of everyone I knew, loved and hated. A couple of texts later A's had enough of my wild guesses..
"Listen sir or ma'am. That was a mistake. No bodies either" - A
I take another guess..cause I'm a thug.
"speculator much? I like you."- A
I LIKE YOU?!?!?!?
    Okay. I'm Just messing with you. Don't panic, I didn't title this post "How I Met The love of my Life". That would just be totally messed up and a little awesome...But hey! A wouldn't have the time for a relationship.. Play it cool. Just Play it cool, Caroline.
Yeah, where?where exactly would I fit in..? A is busy.
Me: " I tend to have that effect on people, You owe me a name, and perhaps if it's not asking too much, an explanation."
A little while later..
Me: "hello? I'm as persistent as I am speculatory."
And yes. I am aware. Speculatory is not even a real word. I made that up. But it sounds cool. So just go with it. Because, It worked. sort of. I manage to get a longer text.
"Listen, I already have too much to deal with, I sent it to you by mistake. I pressed the wrong digit, I was frantic at that time and I couldn't call because I think my phone is tapped. Stop texting me. I don't want to drag anyone else into this mess. For your good. Bye" - A.
Basically A's reaction to my relentless interrogation.
   Obviously, I wasn't giving up.
Me: "Stop being annoying, you started it."
Me:"Okay, Now I'm getting a bit bored. Are you going to tell me who you are or what?"
     A attempts to get rid of me by creeping me out.
"You know too much." - A.
        Boom, Another cliffhanger! Did you get the Akon reference? How many of you ship klaroline? I do! What do you think I should have said to the texts? Let me know what you thought of this part in the comments. And don't worry I'll have the next part up before A silences me. I hope to have part 3 posted by Saturday night! 

Yes, Because I have no plans on a saturday night. 

Ooh. good news, Because you're late, I have already posted the third and final part of this series of posts. For the Epic finale to this story, go ahead and click right on To be continued. But don't forget to leave me comments!

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