I know this post sounds like something out of one of the gazillion final destination movies, but I'm not kidding. This actually happened. True story bro. This is what happens when cows jump over moons hedges in the middle of a highway. So if you're a cow and you're thinking about doing this, DON'T, because it's not funny and it isn't just suicidal, it's also homicidal. If you're someone who owns cows, please keep your cows in check. Cows with suicidal and homicidal tendencies aren't helping anyone. Unfortunately,  I don't have proof that this happened. I asked the members of my family involved in this particular incident for photographic evidence but they claimed that they were kinda busy getting away with their lives and hence weren't able to document the events of that day for the blog.  This was particularly disappointing because in my head I had already began photoshopping myself into these images. And my attempts to pilfer my uncle's car's insurance paperwork for you guys turned out futile cause he sold the car involved in this particular incident. But, You have my word. This happened.

It only happens in India.

This is the face of truth

   Now, let's begin, shall we?
   A couple of years ago, somebody in the family had passed away. Phones were ringing incessantly, my family had to go to the funeral service. All the kids were busy. So were our mothers. We presumably had some exam going on. It was decided that all the men in the family would go, because it's not like they had anything to do. My dad, and my three uncles were happy enough to ditch work, and on they went. ROADTRIP.
     Somehow, Somebody thought it would be a good idea to let uncle no.2 who happened to be the fastest driver in the family to drive uncle no.1's car, a very gaudy black sedan, a Logan, on the National highway leading towards our hometown. Uncle no.1 swears that he wasn't dozing off in the front seat while uncle no.2 was driving. In fact he claims to have been shooting his brother, uncle no.1,  dirty looks every time he tried to cross the speed limit.

Basically, This.

But somehow, I'm convinced that all the passengers of the car probably dozed off, until.... Time slowed. and they rounded a blind turn just as said cow(s) jumped over a hedge that they were hiding behind (because uncle no.1 also claims that there were two cows) .Uncle no.2, who was driving, hit it. There was no stopping the car. Not at that last second, Not at that speed, and Certainly not on that highway, that last minute of time. They hit the cow, And this is exactly how they narrate the story...

 "Thank god no.2 was driving fast enough, we hit the cow with so much momentum, it went up like twenty feet in the air and then landed behind the car. Had he not been driving that fast, the cow would have landed with a hell lotta momentum on the car, instead of behind it, positively crushing all of us to death, because that cow weighed like tonnes". 

   Always looking on the bright side, my family. Also, So sympathetic, I know. But that didn't necessarily mean that they got to walk away with their lives intact. This was India, and cows, here, on this side of the planet, homicidal or not, are considered sacred.
Before my family  had the time to snap out of it, or get out of the car for that matter, An angry mob of villagers stormed out of nowhere. Yes, with their pitch forks, sticks, stones and various other arsenal in tow. Uncle no.2, claims that  some of them actually came from behind the bushes the cows were hiding behind...

This picture is a pretty accurate approximation of what followed.

How did they have time to get all those weapons, anyway?!

"The cow is dead, There's nothing the blue cross can do except maybe, arrest us. "

Something about this entire fiasco seemed very scammy. and suspicious. Like...
1) Why would the cow jump out of those bushes, on to the highway right into the path of a speeding car?!

odd.. very, very, odd.

2) How did they get all those weapons and get here so damn quick?!

And that is how they got out of there.

They paid the angry mob of villagers in return for their freedom. And managed to survive. Other ways they could have survived here...